It’s always nice to have someone comment on your blog entry, however great or slight, but equally, it’s also nice to simply check the stats and know that people are reading it.
For that, I thank you – whoever you are.
Now, internet etiquette might, or definitely does suggest that if you’re going to talk about someone else’s blog, you link to it, giving the casual reader, a chance to put two and two together about why you’re talking about something and take their own view.
Whilst it’s nice to receive comments, it is quite something else to be the subject of someone else’s blog entry. I’m usually quite good at reading something and getting the gist of things fairly quickly, but this particular link made me wonder whether I was being singled out and criticised somehow for my actions and behaviour towards crossdressing and I read the entry quite a few times before concluding that there was not really any offence to take – particularly as Claire Flourish had actually linked to my blog entries on not one, not two, but actually three occasions, rather than remained hidden and unlinked.
I am therefore grateful.
After taking some time to consider and re-read the entry, I exercised the right to reply, and assuming the author maintains the blog entry itself and approves my reply, it will be on-line, there for you to read – me exercising a right to reply etc.
Moving on, this subsequent entry from Claire includes a couple of paragraphs which resonate very clearly with me.
‘Some object to the term transvestite, coined by psychologists and formerly used as a diagnosis of a disorder. “Cross-dresser” was coined by the community. Cross-dressing is a harmless way of reducing stress. If it arouses you sexually, that is nothing to be ashamed of: the clothes are lovely, and humans get horny at all sorts of things. Yet that is not all you are. You are not a failed man with a disgusting habit, and the habit does not define you. It is a harmless habit, though. It need not be all your life.
My other theory is that you are a “beta male”. You don’t fit “alpha” models of masculinity, but beta is the upgrade! You have ways of being which are a blessing to a community. You are soft, gentle, peaceful. You are empathetic and conciliatory, and like to fit in- this is a blessing, but has been distorted, to cause you to try to be a Real Man.’
I dislike the term ‘transvestite’. I feel that the word is derogatory and has been allowed, by society to be skewed to be nothing but unsavoury yet the abbreviation of ‘trans’ can have other bits added on instead and be more acceptable I feel. I have blogged that crossdressing does reduce stress for me. I accept that it does arouse me sexually at times, the clothes are indeed lovely yet I have difficulty in rationalising and dealing with the shame – again, at times. It is therefore nice to read the statement, which I hear as if it is being said solely to me, that it is not all that I am. Harmless? Whilst closeted, yes yet at other times, no.. Otherwise, no – not for me. It need not be all of my life, but it is a major part that can often take up too much of it for my liking at times.
I do not think that I fit “alpha” models of masculinity. I do not consider that I am a ‘man’s man’, I am indeed, soft, gentle, peaceful, emphathetic, conciliatory and do like to fit in. I do not seek to be a real man – I am quite happy as I am, but this whole crossdressing thing can be both a joy and pain to deal with. That’s why blogging helps.
Finally, for now, a word on where I am right now, further to previous blog entries. It has been a week since I last crossdressed and with it being holiday time where I am, opportunities are just not there to crossdress even if I could. But right now, I am not really motivated to do so anyway, yet the thought of doing so is intensely stimulating at times.
For example, watching TV tonight, I saw a dancer wearing a bra. I studied how the straps passed over the shoulder and back and relished at knowing how nice that feels.
And so to bed. That’s quite enough for one night!