Prefix: It’s been a while. Three months or more in fact but what a three months or more.
I wrote some blogs a while back but one thing or the other stopped me from getting around to posting them. I suppose I should explain.
Here is Catch -up blog number 1 of 3 – or 4 – this one for October 2019
Here we are then – the tenth month of the year of 2019, which has disappeared quicker than your bath water goes down the plughole! It is, ten months since I last wore any lingerie. I suppose you could call that an achievement in itself although quite how I’ve done it – I don’t know but clearly, the mindset has been one of merely not being inclined to indulge.
Of course, that kink, as has been fully documented before, has been swapped for chastity. On one particular day of late, I was looking at the blog stats and one of the entries that had been viewed was one where I made a reference to a former Twitter contact – Safia – who has since blocked me for arguably ditching them without a ‘by your leave’, who, during the time that we were in contact with each other – around a year ago – said words to the effect that ‘perhaps we ought to try chastity’.
But the other week, I hit a wall with the chastity again. I would assume that it came after a peak was achieved and having given myself the metaphorical equivalent of a slap around the face to bring me my so-called senses, everything came to a halt once more.
Well, for a few days at least. I don’t know what gets switched on within but the changes between moods and approaches is literally one extreme or the other – on or off.
Of course, things soon switched back on again, geared up by something or other. The proverbial spark seems to be related to my attention or otherwise to Fiona’s social media presence on Twitter. If I tell myself not to look, I cannot be drawn to the imagery and phraseology used, I cannot read and respond to the DMs that seem to be ever more frequent.
However, every now and again, something in my mindset will coerce me to log in. In doing so, the rationale is sort of along the lines of ‘Why not?’, ‘What harm can it do’ but also the more blunt and somewhat direct ‘Because I want to’ or ‘Because I am’.
The mere sight of men in chastity is usually something to start the cravings, the yearnings, the planning and the reignition of various trains of thoughts and, as has been the case recently, motivation to further indulge and explore.
DM exchanges also fuel the proverbial fire but of the many threads of late, assisted by a slight increase in the numbers of followers, have ranged from conversations with a (but not my) Mistress, to those wishing to ask questions about my year-long experiences with chastity to assist their start out with devices, to the more sexually explicit conversation threads which, to be fair, I have more than indulged.
Although I don’t have a Twitter Mistress, I do follow a few, but take a dislike to abuse and posts about wanting to ‘drain’ or ‘rinse’ a ‘paypig’. I have told myself that there would be none of that where I was concerned, concluding that, if I wish to show my appreciation for someone, it will be on MY terms! There is one, and only one to date that speaks my language and I have grown to appreciate much of what they say online and how they say it. Imagine my horror then when one of their posts was met with the most horrific, disgusting, demeaning outburst of trolling, the type of which I felt duty bound to report to them.
Whilst I follow them, this particular Mistress does not follow me in return, and nor would I expect them to, but to open up dialogue required me to follow a few procedures and agree to limitations of contact because of the lack of a mutual ‘follow’. Anyway, driven by the need to raise this, but mostly to express my total dissatisfaction with the content, I notified them via a DM
Retrospectively, the abusive post was in reply to one of the posts by the Mistress, so in theory, they would have seen it. As it turned out though, they had already blocked this individual so hadn’t seen it – the abuser ultimately futile in their attempt to attack the intended recipient.
As it turned out, appreciation for the care and effort came back in reply and I reluctantly agreed to find the post by temporarily unblocking them to see the message, to cut and paste it into the DM thread and re-block. The Mistress said that she was made of strong stuff and could take it and simply laughed off the attack from someone ultimately seen as in no way worth bothering about.
The conversation ended, having gone as far as it would need to, but by this stage, I was more than deeply immersed in a variety of conversations via DM, which took up a large part of my time on the site, comparative to the feed sitting before me.
I’ll be honest. #Locktober was soon a failure within days because of the frame of mind and cessation, but within a week or so, I was back in the proverbial saddle, visual stimulation in text and pictures capturing me, the failure to remain in partial chastity seen as no matter, instead something I could merely reapply myself to for as long as I deemed fit.
This turned out to be quite a few weeks, no sexual peak achieved, no real desire to reach that peak knowing that the come down afterwards was in no way near enjoyable, the proverbial door slammed suddenly on all related activity. Instead, with discussions about what chastity device I might recommend having been one of the threads on Twitter DM, a need to continue my own learning led to browsing of the net for chastity devices per se.
The OCD element within could not be stopped – a rubber device called the Oxballs Tailpipe just had to be acquired. A casual browse on line late one night also led to further sexual exploration in the form of butt plugs, a pack of three in various sizes came before me and having read through many reviews, led the sexual deviant within to order some of those too, my first real indulgence in being properly plugged.
The ‘beginner’ plug was immediately bypassed, the ‘amateur’ one easily accommodated and as the days progressed, I vowed that the try-out of the ‘professional’ plug had been done far too quickly, so days later, with time and lube, it was taken in and worn, much like the one before it, for the work day with chastity applied.
October passed, November arrived and after coming close on a couple of occasions recently, something from my past would be making a return.